Frustrating Contrasts in My Personality

It is difficult just breathing.  I have hyperventilation syndrome, and there is no escaping the disorder, because everyone must breathe!  I can't relax by deep breathing, or do yoga which focuses on relaxing and breathing, or just stopping breathing!  I have always been a coffee lover and drank up to six cups a day, but recently I cut down to one cup, just to see if it affects my hyperventilation.  It did not cure it, but it has improved.  I feel a bit hopeful. 

I am an extremely practical person, a critical thinker and have ""good old common sense.""  Yet here I am struggling with breathing!  I also have compulsions I have fought:  I had bulimia, which I conquered 29 years ago, but I suffered from it from age 18 to 28. 

I am a vegan and love it!  My passion is saving animals from torture.  I also am an environmentalist, a champion of gay rights, and an atheist.  I love science, especially biology, and I love facts.  Magic is revolting to me; yet I find the fact that we walk around on bones and connections to be more beautiful and awe inspiring than magic.

I was supposed to be ""most likely to succeed"" in high school.  Currently, I am a file clerk at a small law firm.  My family struggles with money - hence - surveys for extra pocket change.  We have our 40 year reunion coming up, and I will be the speaker.  Can you imagine how nervous I am, knowing I could hyperventilate and possibly pass out in front of everyone?!  I sure hope I entertain in a better manner than that!

Yes, my life is one of extreme, frustrating contrasts!

A Great Day at the Beach

I had the best day ever a few days ago. This past Saturday, my husband and I took our 11 year old son to a beach on Lake Huron to enjoy an end-of-summer outing. None of us had ever been there before and had heard it was a great spot but weren't really sure. It turned out to be perfect. We visited a conservation area because we hoped it would be more private and secluded than the main beach in the downtown area. And it was. We paid to get into the park but it was worth it; we had a beautiful beach area all to ourselves. There were tall grasses separating the water and sand from the forest area. We spread out towels and our picnic basket, took our pails and shovels and started working on building the biggest sand castle ever. My son and I splashed in the waves while my husband napped on a towel on the beach. Occasionally a couple people would come by with their dogs and play in the water but mostly we had this little area of the beach to ourselves. Eventually we packed up and drove into the nearby little town for dinner. We sat out on the patio of a restaurant on the beach, ate nachos and burgers, and watched the sunset.